Dear sweet Jesus…WHO THE F @ NBC DECIDED THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!
Honestly I am so disappointed in one of my favorite networks. I just don’t know who woke up one day and thought, “I know the PERFECT way to increase our ratings for an episode this spring…Let’s kick-start Lindsay Lohan’s come-back”. Those are actually thoughts that no one should ever have…EVER. Well, if their only hope was to achieve high ratings, then mission accomplished. Apparently this was their 2nd highest rated episode of the season…behind Charles Barkley. First of all that sentence tells us a lot about the intelligence and level of humor that most of America must have (I’m assuming a large part of this is due to the ratings that come in from “the middle Americas” because if someone isn’t a mega-celebrity that is talked about on Entertainment Tonight or Sports Center they have no idea who they are. do they even have redbox yet…we’ll never know because I refuse to go more than 2 & 1/2 states in from either coast). My other guess is that everyone was tuning in to watch her crash and burn on the stage. In which case they were probably pleased with the show’s results. It was nothing short of a train wreck. She read off the cue-cards for most of the nights sketches, lacked comedic timing, and ruined any emotion that was supposed to be conveyed by her characters due in large part to the fact that she’s had so much plastic surgery her face face does little more than blink.
Unfortunately, I feel I have to put some of this blame on Lorne Michaels. I mean I get it Lorne…sort of. You produced Mean Girls, you and Tina Fey somewhat fostered the peak of her career, she had hosted successfully at least 2 or 3 times before. But, sometimes you just need to chalk things up to a lost cause. Lindsay Lohan is a lost cause. Yes it’s true that most of her life was probably thrown in to a tail spin by those jokes of humanity she calls parents, but she is 25 years old and more than capable of taking responsibility for her own life at this point. I mean my god even Britney Spear’s low point was more shallow and short lived than this. All I’m saying is there are other young, well-behaved, eager and willing girls in their 20’s (ehm…me) who would kill (not saying i’d put a hit on her but if that’s what it takes…) to have the chances she’s had, especially after these last few years.
Below is a video of the only good thing to come out of last Saturday’s episode. I will admit, this is a GREAT sketch. BUT I want it to be known that I don’t think that the fact that it is hilarious as all get out is in any way contributed to the fact that Ms. Ho-Han is a part of the skit. Indeed I think she almost drags down the fabulous performance by the rest of the cast (especially the blessedly gifted Kristen Wiig. Her depiction of Cinderella as a bitter, drunken lush who’s married to a nancy is award worthy). Although LL’s botox ridden mug is surely a staple in any of the housewife “sagas”, I think she may have served the skit better as an ugly stepsister or Maleficent.
*I also want to say that I was boycotting this episode and it was only this sketch below along with reviews of her terror on stage that made me illegally view it online. I’d die before I gave her the satisfaction of my ratings.
So, without further ado, and no room for any more disclaimers, I give you “The Real Housewives of Disney”
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Well NBC I’m always ready for my close-up just as soon as these cheap rating tricks prove to be failing.